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Duality and Non-Duality

“How do I “deal” with others who are living in a dualistic world and pushing their agenda onto me? Am I still judging?”

This is a phenomenal question. The short answer is yes, you’re still judging.

It takes a judgment to describe what they are doing as “bad.”

This is why relationships (of all types, romantic, parenting, co-workers, bosses, employees, etc.) are one of the hardest areas to apply this stuff.

Non-judgment isn’t a strategy that we should use all the time.

It’s important that we have the skill, and the ability to drop judgment. But we don’t throw out judgment and duality once we understand more about isness and nonduality.

Judgment still matters. If something “wrong” is happening, sometimes things need to be done.

I often break it down like this…

When something is happening that’s “bad” you need to ask yourself if there’s something that can be done about it? If so, you should do it or at least try.

If you realize there’s nothing you can do about it, then you need to accept it. And I don’t mean stuff it down, or suffer over it while taking no action. I mean REALLY accept it. Be with the sensations of it. That’s when the nondual perspective becomes really powerful and beautiful.

Literally be with what is.

The third option, besides working to change it, or truly accepting it, is this… Not changing it AND not accepting it. If we’re doing that, then we’re suffering.

So growth/life/happiness becomes a game of how good are you at changing what needs to be changed, and how good are you at truly accepting the things you can’t change (people, illness, economic struggles, etc. etc. etc.).

Sadly many of us are doing that third thing. Not changing it, and not accepting it. And in that many of us suffer.

If you need some help with this, and want to work with a coach, check out the online programs I offer and the monthly coaching group you can join.

I hope you have less agendas pushed on you, and that you learn to push back when you should and accept it when you should.

Deep bow, and enjoy the journey.

About Rob Scott

Master coach, teacher, and lover of presence. I shift people's minds, and help them massively transform. Get in touch here.