Free "Back to Breath" 7-Day Challenge Join Now

Tools Alone Won’t Fix Your Problems

Most people don’t have the exact body they want.  But I bet there is a “state of the art” gym right down the road from many of us.

If someone wants to lose weight, improve your health, or just sport an awesome bod – all the tools they need are inside those doors.  So why aren’t we using them?  And if you do use them, did you stop before you got what you really wanted?

Many of us have a strong desire to change, to become ‘the best version of ourselves.’ But doesn’t it seem that no matter how many resolutions or promises you make, you often wind up back where you started – sometimes worse off than when you started?

And then what? You go looking for better tools, for better therapists, for better drugs, right?  But deep down you know that what’s really holding you back is… you.

Sometimes we just can’t get out of our own way. Would you like to know why?

We’re Not Asking The Right Question

Let’s take a step back and consider why the “build a better mousetrap” solution hasn’t worked so far.

We often ask ourselves questions like:

  • What diet should I be on?
  • What workout should I do?
  • Why isn’t this stuff working?

Let me point out that none of those questions are going to get you the result you’re looking for.  Those questions, without the “core question” being answered, are just more distractions that prevent change.

The real question is: Am I ready to change?

There’s a voice in the back of your head that answers that question for you.  And if it says “no,” then you’ve already lost.  The greatest, most advanced, most expensive tools in the world won’t do a thing for you.

You’re totally wasting your time and money if the answer is no.  In fact, you might even be making the problem worse by proving to yourself that change isn’t possible.

Decide to Change

People who accomplish massive things in life see success.  They frame the world in a way such that it serves them – they literally choose to see it in the way that serves them best.  And you know what happens? The world actually does serve them.

What if there was a way to achieve a fundamental shift in the way you see the world?  What if that meant not just increased productivity, but a deep and lasting fulfillment in your life?

Would you be ready to let it happen? (Ask yourself right now, and see what you say.)

When you can say yes to this question – your life is going to get better.  Things may get more challenging too, but that’s only because you’ll actually be doing the things you want to be doing, and removing the limiting beliefs and actions that have become a part of your life.

Massive change requires a kind of death. But that death will allow you to become the person you truly want to be – the kind of person who sees opportunities as chances to win rather than chances to be humiliated – the kind of person who feels happy and successful even when their life isn’t perfect – the kind of person who feels worthy of love.

Are you ready for a little death to your old way of thinking and being in the world?

If today is the day, I recommend you start with my free Back to Breath Challenge – you have to get comfortable being with and looking honestly at yourself before you’re willing to accept change on an experiential level.

And as always, when you’re ready, I’m here to help. Let me know what that voice in the back of your head is saying about this article down in the comments.

Fearlessly Feeling Fear

A teenage boy just heard that Tommy wants to fight him in the schoolyard. He feels fear, but it’s not OK to feel fear. He’s supposed to be a man. He’s supposed to be tough. Or at least that’s what his belief system is telling him.

A woman in college was raised Christian and believes we should all love one another. But someone named Maggie just was hitting on her boyfriend. Anger starts to rise up in this woman, but it’s not OK to be angry because of her beliefs. So she feels anxious and get a second level of emotion because of the conflict of the first emotion, anger. It wasn’t OK to feel the way she felt.

Let’s take it away from a belief based idea. Let’s just say that we don’t like feeling fear, or sadness, or anger. I get scared and I don’t like the way it feels. It’s not OK to feel the way I feel. Once, for whatever reason, it’s not OK to be who I am or feel how I feel, I am in trouble.

This talk is about that second level of emotions. When we feel something and that feeling is not OK. When we feel fear and we don’t want to feel fear. The added anxiety and discomfort that we add to what we feel. This talk relates to beliefs, emotions, and surrender. All our feelings and emotions are necessary. Emotions are the language to tell us how we are relating to our situation and circumstance all the time. And yet it takes courage to feel what we feel sometimes.

Some teachings say we should try to transcend emotions. Some say we need to endlessly honor emotions. I say doing both is really important. We must investigate the self that’s feeling the feelings. It could need to adjust it’s beliefs and hence, change itself. But we also need to really feel what we are feeling.

The worst thing I see in people, and myself, is when we resist what is. When I am resisting life, I am deeply unhappy. When I accept what is, I can face anything. I can fearlessly feel fear. Whenever I choose to spend my time wanting what is not, rather than appreciating what is, I’m lost. The practice is to become aware that we are fighting this moment, and to drop that critique. We can feel fear, and not want to be anything else. We can be sad, and fully feel it without running away. When we do that we open ourselves to the joy underneath.

[audio:https://s3.amazonaws.com/robscott-audio/FearlesslyFeelingFear.mp3]