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IDENTITY SHIFTING: The Simple Secret

>>> NOTE: We are accepting applications for the next Identity Shifting Mastermind now. Watch the video below to learn more and then click here to apply.

You’re about to discover the secret behind “Identity Shifting.” You’ll see how easy it is to:

  • Overcome your money limits
  • Defeat fears and phobias of any kind
  • Literally “rewire your neurology”
  • Find your deepest purpose
  • Master personal development and positive change
  • And so much more…

Watch this video to see how Identity Shifting can change your life and results:

Contents (in case you want to skip around):

  • What the most important thing to “master” is (00:22)
  • How to overcome money limits (05:39)
  • How I discovered Identity Shifting (07:53)
  • Why Identity Shifting works (without willpower) (15:49)
  • How to overcome fears and phobias (22:10)
  • How to rewire your neurology (25:55)
  • What’s in the Identity Shifting Mastermind (32:06)
  • What clients have to say (39:09)

IMPORTANT:

I’ll be running a Live “Identity Shifting Mastermind” soon. It’s a small group of people committed to massive change in their lives and their results. Literally shifting their identities into whoever they most want to become.

After you watch the video above, the next step is filling out a simple application to see if you qualify.

If you do, we can set up a short conversation to discuss the program and see if it’s a fit.

>>>APPLY FOR THE NEXT IDENTITY SHIFTING MASTERMIND<<<

 

You’ll Never Have REAL Success Without This

I have a couple quick questions for you…

Do you continuously chase one goal right after the next? Are you waiting for things to be good “some day?”

I’ve got a little secret for you. There is no “some day.” There’s no such thing.

It’s always NOW.

 

Imagine an ultra-billionaire CEO. His business is thriving and he’s swimming in money. But what does the rest of his life look like? How would you imagine his relationships are with his family? How is his health? Does he manage stress well? Does he have passion and purpose in his life?

If he’s got these other areas under control, that’s amazing. But if he doesn’t, it might be the saddest story ever told.

Because he may have more money than he can spend, but if he’s miserable I would say he’s failing. He may be financially successful, but I wouldn’t call that REAL success.

There’s two things going on to have real success: We want to master both “being and doing.”

“Doing” is mastering the science of success. It’s incredibly important but without also learning the art of fulfillment (or “being”) we’re never going to arrive at real satisfaction. We’re always going to be stuck on the “treadmill of time.”

Being present and happy is like a groove in the brain that atrophies if we don’t use it. And while many of us chase financial success we let the ability to feel joy and happiness start to disappear. And then when we do find financial success, we find we’re unable to feel happy because we never grooved that ability into the pathways of our brain.

If you aren’t making a point to be happy while you are pursuing your goals, you will find it harder and harder to ever be happy. Happiness and fulfillment don’t exist somewhere out there in the future. They need to be arrived at in the now.

So if you don’t learn how to be present and fully arrived, then you’ll miss the most important part of life. The actual joy. But if you get good at feeling joy in this moment, then you have a real shot at mastering both the art of fulfillment and the science of success.

And that’s what REAL success looks like.

If you want to hear my full talk, you can find it here.

You Are a Meaning Making Machine (and How This Could Be Dangerous)

We are literally inventing our own reality with the stories we are telling ourselves.

I’m not talking about anything woo-woo or magical here. I’m simply talking about the thoughts that we have.

Our thoughts, when constantly recycled and replayed in our minds, become the stories we carry.

The more we tell ourselves the same story over and over, the faster it becomes “true” to us and shapes how we feel and behave in the world.

Why is that a bad thing?

Well it may not be. But what happens more often than not is, our stories aren’t helpful to us. So we get caught up in a loop of negative self-talk or anxiety-producing thoughts that keep us TRAPPED… that keep us from feeling the way we want to feel and acting the way we want to act.

I was a guest on The Art of Charm Podcast – (link to full recording) – a while back.

This clip of the interview will help illustrate what I’m talking about:

So the shortcut to living the way we want, feeling the way we want, and acting the way we want is to change the meaning making machine in our head.

But how do we do that?

Well it’s more simple than you probably realize. So simple that I broke it down into three steps:

  • Step 1:  Become Aware of Your Thoughts
  • Step 2: Challenge Your Thoughts
  • Step 3: Replace Your Thoughts

Often times we are run by our mind without even realizing it. If we can become aware of what thoughts we are having and how they are influencing what we believe to be “true,” then we will master the first step.

Next we need to become aware of what stories we tell ourselves, and then challenge the ones that are trapping us. Once we can distinguish what is helping us or what is hurting us then we can move on to step three: Learning how replace the negative thoughts with positives ones.

When we change the way we think, we start to change the way we feel. When we change the way we feel, we begin to behave differently. When we start acting the way we want, people and situations react to us in that way.

Even though that seems like a simple 3-step process, I guarantee that if you can master your mind, the results will be profound.

Give it a try, and you’ll see that it’s NOT too good to be true.

After all, if you have the power to create a better reality, why wouldn’t you?

If you want to permanently change how you make meaning, consider joining a handful of other achievers in my upcoming Identity Shifting Mastermind. In it, I go even deeper into the 3-step process for changing your thoughts and give you my Fundamental SHift Repatterning Process. You’ll be able to shift any limiting belief within a days. It works *almost* like magic. Click here to learn more.

The Power of Story

Looking at today’s news headlines, there appears to be a lot of uncertainty and anxiety in our world.

In many ways it seems like we are more divided than ever.

How did it get this way?

It relates to the concept of “story.”

Whether we are conscious of it or not, many of us are running a story called, “We are separate”.

Are you running this story?

Check out this 2 minute clip to find out…

If you want to hear the full talk click here.

Where do you find yourself running the story of, “I’m separate”.

What would happen if you started looking for the ways you are connected instead?

I think it would alter our reality and change the world we live in.

What if you looked at the person walking past you on the street and searched for commonalities instead of automatically list your differences? What would that feel like for you? What do you think it might feel like for them?

What if you sought out ways to connect with people instead of distance yourself? How would that change your life?

If we all put more of our attention on connection I think there would be less war, less political tension, more unified causes, healthier relationships, etc.

The power of changing our “story” is really the key to changing our reality.

Are You Infected with a Mind Virus?

We are living in overwhelming times.

Many of us are having a hard time dealing with what’s going on in the world.  There is political drama, economic and ecological challenges, as well as racial tension. We’re facing technology and automation that is causing stress and anxiety. Many people feel tired and overwhelmed.

But some of us are fine.

Let me ask a simple question:

Why are some people more affected by challenging circumstances than an others?

Said differently, why are some people triggered to unhealthy anxiety and other people are fine? There are real things to be anxious about, no doubt.  If you are dealing with dangerous or difficult situations you need to fix those problems. But many people are anxious when there’s no actual danger.

This is what I call a “mind virus.”

Much of what is causing the anxiety is happening in their own mind and nowhere else.

A cornerstone of leaving the anxious tribe is learning to realize what’s true and not true. We need to realize that much of our thinking isn’t true. And hence, many of our worries aren’t true.

When we learn to see more truth we are able to detect delusions and take more control over our thinking.

If we don’t we will continue to suffer. We will continue to suffer from delusional thinking. We will get lost in unnecessary stress and overwhelm.

We have to heal both as individuals and the collective. Let’s solve the “mind virus” problem and learn how to pattern in more confidence, clarity and truth.

Lets cure the delusion and end the suffering.

The video above is a SNEAK PEAK inside my newest program: 

STILLNESS IN MOTION

It’s a movement to help us wake up and make real changes for ourselves and others. We cover topics that will help you end suffering in your life, and end suffering on planet earth.

I created this coaching program to help you cure anxiety and delusional thinking. It has tools, tips and teachings to help you navigate through all aspects of your daily life.

Membership gets you access to live monthly calls. You also get access to a secret Facebook community, and access to hours of content and lessons.

There’s a lot we can do to fix things. I want to grow with a bunch of people that are living into a very different level of consciousness.

I want Stillness in Motion to help cure you of delusion and free you from mind viruses.

Click here to learn more about the Stillness in Motion movement.

Eventual Millionaire Podcast

Another podcast interview went live today.  This one was with Jaime Masters of Eventual Millionaire.
 
Jaime is incredible and we had a blast recording this show.  She was great at getting to the important nuggets fast.
 
Here’s some of the things we went over:

 

  • A three-step process to uncover negative beliefs buried in your unconscious mind
  • What is an “identity shift” and why it’s the only way to make a lasting change
  • Why most therapy work out there doesn’t stick
  • The one thing your subconscious mind cares about and why it can work against you
  • The three realms of yourself you need to focus on when you want results
  • How to “trick” your subconscious mind into changing your worst patterns without resistance
 
We all carry a self-concept. We end up with invisible ceilings that limit us. Our self concept limits how much money we can earn, how much we’re worth, and what’s possible for us.
 
The act of changing in any significant way requires you to shift your identity.
 
Most people do this by changing habits against their current identity. But this takes tons of willpower and energy.
 
Instead of creating that change via willpower, we do that using the subconscious mind. That way we make the changes without wasted time and effort.
 
Next steps:
 
Learn more about Identity Shifting here.
 
Listen to Jaime and I on Eventual Millionaire here.
 
 

The “Back to Breath” Challenge

Your mind basically runs everything.

Our minds are what drive how we feel about things.  They control how we make meaning.  They either allow us to focus or not.  And oddly, we don’t get an instruction manual on how to run these minds of ours.

So what do we do?

We need to learn a single distinction, and then understand how that breaks into “levels of consciousness.”

See, many people have a core problem of not being able to distinguish between being aware of their thinking and not being aware of their thinking.  Being unaware means we don’t control our mind which often leads to feeling out of control, reactive and lost.

So the main distinction is this:  Can you tell when you’re thinking and when you’re not?

It’s really that simple.  But let’s break it down even further. If you watch the video above you’ll be able to see where you fit in the four different “Levels of Consciousness.” Let me list them for you here:

  • Level 1:  Not realizing you are thinking.  Unable to mediate.  Completely unaware.  Thought runs you.
  • Level 2:  You can tell you are thinking, but don’t have any idea what to do about it.  Thought is still the driving force. You’re more aware, but not at all in control.

(The important shift happens here – you discover the difference between thought and experience.)

  • Level 3:  You can tell the difference between thought and experience. You have the ability to stop thought, and you have some practice with the mind.
  • Level 4:  You gain mastery over thought and form a different relationship with your experience across your entire life. You now use thought as an incredibly powerful tool.  You enjoy happiness, peace, confidence, focus and presence on a daily basis.

Now, learning to be aware of your thoughts may not seem like a big deal.  But I can tell you, it’s the biggest deal you get to experience.  Being “lost in thought” may as well be the definition of suffering.

So I want to share a way that you can work on this for about a week, and gain a huge breakthrough in this area.  A breakthrough that will change the rest of your life.

I put together a completely FREE 7 day “Back to Breath” challenge for you.  

Each day you will get interesting and counterintuitive ways to “wake up” from the traps of your mind. It’s going to be simple to do and packed with daily tips for what to try. You’ll even get a visualization or two, and get to join our community of people who are all waking up.

Go to backtobreath.com, enter your email and I’ll send you all the details.

Whether you’re experienced meditator, or you just want to check out the simplest way to “move up a level or two,” you’re going to want to check this out.  

Imagine a world where you are NOT lost in thought.  Imagine really waking up.

Sign up at backtobreath.com and join our community.  I’ll see you over there.  :)

P.S.  Can you think of anyone else who might benefit?  If so bring them along!  Friends and/or family that may be stressed out, or stuck feeling anxious, overwhelmed or depressed?  This would be great for them too.  Or maybe you just have a cool friend you want to do the challenge with?  If so, send them a note with the link and pass it on.

Why You Can’t Stop Procrastinating (Healing Your Life, Part 2)

If you’re here, it’s probable that you procrastinate.  In Part 1 of this mini-series, I shared what makes change so hard for us.  If you haven’t read that article yet, go ahead and start there.  

That article exposed that change itself actually isn’t hard, but we make it hard because of the story we tell ourselves.  

And while there are many stories we tell, we have one main one I call our ‘Core Story’ – it is usually limiting, and tends to be locked in at childhood.  And it can stay with us through our entire lives…

Unless we wake up and take full responsibility for rewriting it.

But you may have convinced yourself that your “small life” is okay.  That you don’t really need or even deserve more than what you have right now.

In fact, the question for you may be: Is it really worth all the work?

Take a Deeper Look: How Much Does Your Core Story Limit You?

There are two big fears that are practically encoded in our DNA, that all of us share in our core story, until we take the time to become aware and resolve them.

  1. We are instilled with a deep fear of failure – whether you’ve seen that in yourself or not, it’s probably true.

See, for much of human beings’ existence, we were deeply connected to our tribe.  Being rejected by our community in it’s worst sense, meant death.

If we were a hunter, and we weren’t terribly good at hunting, our food might be given away to the more successful hunters.  Or we might be outright rejected by our community.  Suddenly we’d have to rely entirely on ourselves to survive.

In a time when having a “sick day” might have meant getting eaten, failing and ultimately being abandoned would be terribly frightening.

If we failed at things, we may be rejected from the tribe.

So, of course we feared failing.  In fact, this fear of failure was an evolutionary advantage.  It kept us vigilant, and productive.

But now as a society with 24 hour grocery stores and online shopping, we’ve moved past fearing for our survival when we’re alone, but we haven’t lost this fear of failure.  And it’s becoming less and less of a evolutionary advantage all the time.

  1. The really hard one for people to get their heads around is another, seemingly different fear – the fear of success.  

We all like to claim that we don’t have this one, but look closer, it takes many forms:  

  • You may be concerned that making too much money will isolate you from your friends and family.  
  • You may think that being successful requires such extreme hard work and dedication that you’ll lose all your loved ones.  
  • You may even believe that if you achieve success, you won’t be able to maintain it, and you’ll plunge your whole family into chaos.

Success is scary for many of us.  And since it’s something most of us also clearly want, we end up with unconscious “value conflicts” which lead to frustration and self sabotage as we attempt to grow and succeed.

So our core story end up with a narrative that tells us how successful we’re supposed to be, and how much we deserve and can maintain.  

We instinctively don’t want to be too far ahead, or too far behind.

The fear of success points to the same primal instinct as the fear of failure – stay with your tribe!  

Your core story says things like, “I’m not enough” and “the world isn’t safe” as a way to keep you content with your tribe, safe and alive.  

It’s a very effective survival mechanism – but again, survival isn’t as difficult as it used to be.  If you’re reading this, I imagine your more focused on thriving, than merely surviving.  

So what’s our usual response to a core story that’s telling us to stay small and not let anyone see our weaknesses?  What’s the very best way to stay safe?

PROCRASTINATE!

Performing badly (and sometimes performing too well) means abandonment and that fear of loss/death again to the more primitive part of your brain.  

So our subconscious goes to work looking for reasons to avoid performing at all.

Every reason we imagine or create that prevents us from performing is one more opportunity to NOT perform badly

And we end up with a psychological version of our own identity that is inflated (just how we like it).

Face it, Have you said things like this before?

  • My job performance would be incredible if I was more organized.
  • I would have done way better on that test if I hadn’t waited until the night before to study.  
  • I could have gotten that promotion if I applied for it, but I don’t really need the extra money.

I hope it’s starting to make more sense why you use these excuses.  If not, I’ve written before about “the formula that causes us to procrastinate” here: Self Worth = Ability = Performance.  Check that out to go deeper on this point.

By procrastinating, we can keep saying “I’m actually way better than this” without the chance of anyone finding out we might not be.

So procrastination isn’t something we do when we “don’t want success bad enough” or we’re “just lazy.”  Procrastination isn’t even something we do consciously most of the time.  

Procrastination is our subconscious mind’s way of keeping us safe and alive.  And while it also might be keeping you miserable and unsuccessful, it’s actually doing one job amazingly well.

As angry as you might be, it’s worth thanking your subconscious for doing its job.  Acknowledge the hard work it’s doing to keep you alive, accept that it’s only doing what it has been evolutionarily programmed to do, and then move on.

What’s So Bad About Playing It Safe?

Look, there’s a pretty obvious solution, so I’ll get that out of the way first:

Keep procrastinating.

You stay safe, nothing really gets that much better or worse, and one day – sooner or later – you die.

You never accomplish your big goals, you’re never fully present with your loved ones, and you never bring about substantial change in the world on the issues that really matter to you.

Hell, you may never even figure out what really matters to you at all.  You’ll just drift through life and let your fears control you.

Or…

You’ll realize that this S#%! has been going on long enough, that it’s not going to get better until you invest in yourself, and that everyone you know has been waiting for you to step up and commit to rewiring this core story you’ve unconsciously created.

Here’s the deal:

Your new core story can be one that doesn’t carry your current fears and limitations.  One that takes real action on evoking massive change in your life and this world.  

It can be about how you are a badass entrepreneur who loves blowing past failure and gets stronger and stronger with every business move.

It can be about how you are the most loving parent or partner, and you always respond with kindness and compassion.

It can be about how you are creating a world where no one else ever has to experience the deep pain that you experienced as a child.

It can be about anything you decide.

And as you change your core story, your experience of yourself and the world will change dramatically.  The behaviors you want are baked into this new story that’s running your new reality.  Changing your core story is the fastest way to change YOU.

While the choice to do this work is yours, please remember – this isn’t dress rehearsal.  

You only get one shot at this.  You have to decide if and when you’re ready to change…but when you do decide to change, know that it can happen in an instant.

(It’s called Identity Shifting and you can learn more about that over here.)

My Final Point is This

This work I’m talking about is scary.  It’s the exact kind of thing you may choose to procrastinate on.

But don’t do that.

If you feel called to do this work, DO IT.  Find a trusted mentor, a therapist, read books – whatever.  Just don’t procrastinate on this.  There’s nothing more important you can do.

 

Why Is Change So Hard (Healing Your Life, Part 1)

Why Is Change So Hard?  Or, why do we think it’s so hard?  Have you ever heard someone say that real change takes a long time to lock in?  

Is that maybe something you’ve said yourself?

Here’s the thing – if you’re telling yourself, or your friends, or (god-forbid) your children this…you’re doing them a major disservice.  You’re setting everyone in your life up for failure….  

Change doesn’t take a long time to happen.

That’s a myth.  Change is actually instantaneous. We cling to this belief that change has to be hard, but it’s really  our own resistance to change that slows us down.  I can already hear you sputtering…

“But, but, but…you can only change one thing at a time!  Willpower is limited!”

That’s just not true.  In fact, the fastest kind of change happens without any willpower at all.

Our Past is The Burden That Stops Us From Changing…

Let’s be clear, there is no rule that we have to keep carrying our past.

Do you know my story?  (If not, trust me you will.  I hammer on about it all the time.)  Anyway, the short version is this: physical abuse followed by drug abuse followed by homelessness and rock bottom.

I was so angry and stuck in the “victim mindset” – I didn’t even ask to be born!  Why is this so hard?! – and because of that, I was projecting out onto the world all these negative thoughts and feelings.  

Everything looked ugly to me.

Finally, I woke up to the core concept: we’re all one and we’re only fighting ourselves. Through that realization, I got down to “wow, I’m just fighting myself…. Nobody’s punching me in the face anymore… I don’t have any of the challenges of my childhood, but I’m dragging them forward from my past with my core story.”

What Is A Core Story?

Our core story begins with something that happens to us when we’re very young. And we carry it with us, we live into that story until we change it for ourselves.  

As babies, we were completely dependent on our parents, and for most of us, we received everything we needed until a certain point in time…and then suddenly, we didn’t.  

Mom didn’t come when we cried.  The food we were given wasn’t enough to fill us up.  The universe became uncertain and unsafe.

Human beings fill in the reason for that uncertainty with meaning.  Meaning makes us feel safe. But that meaning, if set up a certain way, can affect us for the rest of our lives.

Sometimes we rationalize with an explanation like “I’m not enough.”  And once that seed has been planted, we start to see it everywhere, every time something doesn’t work out for us.

It becomes our core story.

So What happens If We Change Our Story?  

What happens if you start talking to yourself differently about what’s possible and who you want to be?  I did that for myself, and I literally dropped my whole victim identity and came into a new sense of what was possible for me and who I was.

Over just a few years I went from homeless to working as a clerk in a mailroom to VP of a corporation in Philadelphia – all with no credentials – building out a software business for them and making a very nice exit.

Now, listen…you might already be saying “that’s never going to work for me.”  But I promise I had absolutely nothing back then that you don’t have right now.

And do you want to know a secret?  It can be as simple as the questions you ask…what if there were right and wrong questions to ask yourself?

Become The Author of Your Core Story

If you have been trying to make changes in your life, but you feel like you’re going around in circles, the reason may be as simple as your core story being out of whack.

And while this remains unconscious to you – whatever you do to try to solve your problems just reinforce that story

You end up trying to change and ask yourself questions like, what’s wrong with me? why am I such a loser? when will I finally earn enough to be happy?   But all you’re really doing is beating yourself down.

You’re trying to change and grow but instead, you’ve become your own worst enemy and it doesn’t solve anything.

In fact, things can get worse.  The results might be extreme procrastination, frustration, anger, desperation, learned helplessness, and lashing out at others – even loved ones. You can push hard and burn out trying to reach success, but…

You’re Going to Wind Up With Incremental Change At Best

So what happens when you ask the right questions?  Things like…

Who do I need to become to make this change? What kind of person does what I want to do effortlessly?  

When you ask these kinds of questions, you can immediately shift your way into success.

The results are motivation, passion, happiness, clarity, and grit.  You see all these results because you’ve developed self-worth and self-love.  

Seriously, you are amazing.

There is no one else on earth with your unique perspective, and there never will be again.  You deserve so much more than incremental change – and the rest of the world deserves to share in what you have to offer! So…

Are You Ready to Bloom?

Honestly, this article might be enough for you to finally grab hold of the life you want.  Sometimes we just need the awareness of the burdens we carry – and once we see that weight for what it is, we drop it and move on.  I was able to change my core story, and maybe you can too.

But you might need to go deeper.  You might need to understand why you procrastinate change, and how you can let go of your fears long enough to allow this shift to happen in your life.

If that’s the case, then find support.  Get a mentor when you can.  And keep an eye out for the next article in this series.  It’s all about why we procrastinate.

I’ll talk with you then…

How Your Limiting Beliefs Keep You Safe… And Miserable

Imagine this scenario: You are a successful business owner or corporate employee. You’ve been working hard and putting in more hours every year but you never have much to show for it. Your income never grows, but your debt just keeps climbing.  You are exhausted and stressed and you don’t see any way you could work any harder.

When you lie awake in bed at night, you start asking yourself, “Why me?” You wonder what’s wrong with you that keeps you from getting your life together.  Why are so many peers doing better?

Here are just a few of the things I hear my clients say about themselves:

  • “I am no good.”
  • “I will never be able to change”
  • “life will never get better”
  • “my body is disgusting”
  • “nobody will ever love me”
  • “I don’t deserve to have what I really want”
  • “I’m not worthy of anything”
  • “I actually hate myself…”

Can you imagine speaking to a co-worker or child like that everyday?  And if you did, would you expect them to perform well or have stellar behavior?

When we narrate our own lives with this kind of language, is it really any surprise that we can’t ever seem to profoundly change?

Changing How You Think Will Change Your Life

Look, we all want to feel happy and fulfilled in our lives. To do that we have to understand and change how we make meaning. And we have to learn where these beliefs about ourselves come from to begin with.

If you pay close attention to what I’m about to share with you, you will learn the ability to make new meaning which will allow you to move past your limiting beliefs.  You’ll gain deep clarity with zero illusions.  This is like getting the ‘keys to the kingdom’ of creating happiness and fulfillment in your life.  But tools aren’t enough, you first have to be open to change.

How We Make Meaning

Our ancestors had less choices when it came to truth and beliefs1.  If they were walking back to their tribe through a field of tall grass and they heard  a rustle, they could assume, “That’s just wind,” and keep on walking…or they could worry “That’s a tiger!” and go home the longer but safer route.

Even if they guessed correctly some of the time, the people who thought “it’s just the wind” were going to be wrong eventually, and that was the end of their blood line.  But the people who thought there was a tiger even when there wasn’t still got home safely, even if there was never any real threat.  And while there may have been a small cost of going the longer way home, they got to live, and they passed on their genes and teachings to us.

That means we’ve actually been bred to make meaning that keeps us safe. We actually seek patterns in every situation because those patterns are what’s kept us alive for thousands of years.

The problem is when you identify patterns – especially about yourself – that aren’t true at all:  I can’t dance, dieting doesn’t work for me, I’ll always be poor…  

Just like believing there’s a tiger waiting in the grass for you, these beliefs can seem to keep you safe, even when they’re wrong.  

Wrong Beliefs Are Dangerous

Let’s be clear, even if they do keep you safe, your negative beliefs will fail miserably at helping you feel happy, confident, and fulfilled in your life.  

You see, a belief is simply taking an opinion and treating it as a truth.  Beliefs are everywhere and they are incredibly powerful – they can be motivating when they are useful, but they can be downright dangerous when they aren’t.

Let’s imagine a woman who was told in middle school that she “looks fat in that outfit.”  I can’t tell you how many clients of mine have this kind of experience.  And what happens is that the embarrassment of that moment creates a pattern to not believe we are attractive.  Staying ‘safe’ becomes believing we are unattractive.

The cost of believing we are unattractive is huge, yet it’s a way our system keeps us safe. If we stop standing out, risking things with trendy clothes, etc. – we can avoid ever being embarrassed like that again.

One… simple… comment… can have a lifetime of negative effect.

Look back at that list of common negative self talk – do you say any of those things to yourself?  Take a few moments to consider the negative things you say about yourself on any given day.

Now, can you honestly say that those are true?  Or have you just formed an opinion – maybe because of things parents or peers said to you when you were younger – and since that opinion kept you ‘safe’ in some way, your subconscious went ahead and turned it into a belief.

Learn to Challenge Your Beliefs

You have to break the cycle of turning these patterns into beliefs.  And if you already have the limiting beliefs, you’re going to want to learn how to reverse them.  The simple way out is by learning to challenge the beliefs that are holding you back.  

If your brain says, “This is really hard, I’ll never get it done.”  Then you say, “Nah, this is easy. I got this.”

If your brain says, “I’ll never have real money.”  Then you say, “I wonder how I can GROW my wealth this month.”

It’s so simple, but until we shift our identity it takes commitment.  It takes doing this same process over and over again, day in and day out, until it becomes an unconscious habit (the identity shifts).

What Happens If You Master Meaning?

Recently I worked with a client who told herself that making more money in her business would make her life harder.  So she had a money ceiling – her belief was keeping her ‘safe’ from the complexity of a bigger life by preventing her from earning more money.  And because of this, she was stuck and getting deeper in debt.  

Simply learning to question the belief that more money would equal more problems has completely changed her income and business growth.  She’s paid off all her debts and is doing better and better every month.

But what if she’d held on to that belief that money just complicated her life?  How much time and energy and money (that she didn’t have) would she have wasted on workshops and books and tools – only to sabotage her results and keep the ‘less money is better’ story alive?  

Strategies and tactics wouldn’t do anything for her until she eliminated the limiting belief. And they won’t do anything for you until you eliminate the beliefs that are fighting to keep you ‘safe,’ but are actually sabotaging your goals.

Next Steps

I hope this is all you need to begin identifying your ‘truths’ that are really just beliefs, and to then begin challenging those beliefs in the moments when they hold you back.

Some beliefs are easier to challenge than others.  Some are so deeply ingrained in us, that we might need some mental power tools to get to the root of it.

But I want you to have some fun with this.  You’re embarking on a huge shift in your life – it’s intense – but it doesn’t have to be hard.  You can enjoy it and make it a game to uncover all the old beliefs that have been holding you back for years.

Remember, this isn’t about forcing old habits onto your current identity – this is about completely shifting the way you see yourself and the world. It’s about permanent change through shifting your identity.

And once you’ve got your new identity locked in, overturning limiting beliefs won’t be a decision you need to make in the moment…it will just be a normal part of your day. Making positive meaning can become totally automatic for you.

 


  1. This example comes from author Dr. Michael Shermer. For more on his concept of “patternicity,” check out the book How We Believe.